The road was almost empty. Winters were around the corner
and sun started saying good-bye a bit early. ‘O basanti pavan pagal, na ja re
na ja’ was playing on radio and Radhika was about to take the right turn to her
lone place. Suddenly she saw something wrong and followed in the almost dark.
Ohh, a kid was lying on the road bleeding. She felt shiver in her legs and the
brakes came to a hard stop. She jumped
out of car and checked if the pulse is running. Thankfully, it was.
She put him in the car and immediately took him to the
hospital. Doctor asked what happened and she made a quick story. Being very
close to writers she was very good at that now and also she knew the
complications of administration. She just wanted him to be treated soon.
“What’s the name of the patient?” Lady near the reception
asked.
“Manu”
“Age?”
“Seven”
“Who are you to the patient?”
“Sister.” Nurse looked at her again, as if she wanted to
say ‘Are you sane? ’, but then she just filled the form. Doctor took Manu into
the ICU and she ran to the car again to check his bags.
“Oh, Thank God!!” She
found his details. She called on the number mentioned in his diary for
emergency contact. A lady received the phone.
“Can I talk to Mr. Avasthi?”
“Yes, May I know who you are?”
“Radhika Ranjan”.
After a minute
wait a male voice came from the other end. “Yes, may I help you?”
(Obviously!!)…..She said “Mr. Avasthi, you don’t know me.
I found your son on the road. He met with an accident. I guess he got
unconscious while riding his bike, as I dint see him hit by anything. I took
him to the hospital and doctor is checking him. Can you please reach to
emergency ward into AIIMS and ask for Radhika Ranjan? I dint know his name
earlier so I registered him as Manu. Please come and give me a call. And please
do not panic. He will be fine. I am here with him. See you soon.”
Outside ICU, she was eagerly waiting for someone who can update
her. Pondering that if she wouldn’t have
reached there on time?! Manu, why Manu
was the first though she had when she saw this kid? Perplexed she was still
thinking when somebody asked “Excuse me! Are you Radhika Ranjan?”
“Yes, you must be Mr. Avasthi?!” Mr. Avasthi was with a lady who must be the
mother of Rajat. It was very easy to identify as she was endlessly crying.
Yeah, Rajat was his real name.
“Please, be patient. He will be fine.”
After an hour doctor came out and said “He is fine now. We
were monitoring him till he gets back to conscious. You can take him home now.”
And rest she dint listen. She was happy and relieved. Mr. Avasthi said thanks
almost trillion times and Mrs. Avasthi hugged her. Before leaving they
exchanged the contact details and Mr. and Mrs. Avasthi asked her to come home
sometime. The basic courtesies of any culture!!!
Clock was showing 10:35 pm. “Muje Chand Chahiye”- She must
have been reading this book for 100th time by now. Somehow now she
started living in that book. She felt that this book was not just the story of
Varsha Vashisth. It was the story of almost every sensitive but stubborn
middle-class Indian girl who wants to make her own world. Yeah, she calls
herself stubborn. She didn’t even realize when her mind took her to Manu from the
pages of that book. Why Manu came to his life? Why his thoughts bothering her
today? Almost every day she thinks of him in some way but never felt that
strange and uneasy. It’s already been Six years they separated. Manu was still
somewhere in her unconscious mind. Six years ago Rakhika moved to Varanasi. She
was offered the lectureship in Banaras Hindu University. After few years, she
finished her P.hd. in Ethics and Human Values there. She laughed at herself on
the day she got doctorate degree. Doctor in Ethics and Human values still does
not understand that “Does aggression always triggered by Heart or mind has any
role to it too? Is anger really what you should conquer? Is mind prior to
heart?” Conquering the thoughts was her favorite experiment to herself.
In last six years she met many people at work. One of them
was Ritvik. They met before Four years. Both were alone and found comfort in
each other and as in that age what most people think, Radhika did the same
mistake of thinking that. She wanted stability in her life. Her family also wanted
her to marry as she was crossing the marriageable age. So one day frustrated,
irritated from herself, she offered Ritvik what she started thinking about both
of them. Ritvik laughed at her in the beginning as he thought that she is not
serious but later when she introduced the severity of the matter, Ritvik
refused. He said that he is not ready. She felt terrible inside. She was not
prepared for this. But the very next moment, she recalled that she is not weak
and saying this to her, she immediately changed the topic saying that neither
is she. She just wanted to check where this relationship is leading. They both
laughed and enjoyed their coffee.
That night she felt terrible about herself. It was all her
fault. Why is she so desperate? Why can’t she be just friends to guys of her
age? Why she always seeks support? How can she even think that any guy will be
ready like this? And even if he is then
how can she be so sure that her life will be stable after that. Isn’t she
already doing well? Everybody likes her at work. Every parent wants their kids
to be like her. She was the role model for many around. Why does she feel that
she is nothing? That day she promised herself that she will keep the emotional
distance from guys and will never take first step in any relationship.
After a week she got a letter from Russia. She was invited
in an international conference to speak about Human Values. She felt relieved. That
is what she wanted to come out of her ocean of thoughts. She is supposed to concentrate on her career from
now onwards as this is what her existence. This is what world knows her
for. She never came back to Varanasi and
moved to Greener offers.
But Manu, why he is still around? Till today all her efforts
to forget him just went in vain. Seven years ago, she met Manu in a coffee shop
at Connaught place in Delhi. He was a writer. It was she who dropped her cup of
coffee on his notebook. Manu got really angry and started shouting at her in
front of everybody. It was his week’s effort which she just drowned in coffee.
Rakhika got really upset. She was about to cry but managed somehow and
apologies. She offered that she will redo all the work for him. Her innocent
offer made him laugh. And from that day onwards they became the reason to smile
for each other. Radhika became the inspiration of Manu’s writings. Her beauty gave
him new sensations and her eyes showed him new perspectives. They were happy
with each other, each day !!
Everything went well for almost a year. But knowing someone
very much is riskier than what we can think of. Though they did not start
taking each other for granted, they just started changing themselves for each
other. They were no more the same people who met a year ago. They were changed
for each other. Radhika got an internship and she was doing very well in her
career. Manu’s writing career wanted a push. So Radhika never expressed her
happiness about work in front of him assuming he will be upset. Their assumptions
brought uncertainties to their lives. One
day she suggested very politely to him to write for some magazines but he
refused. He wanted something big but with his own terms. Radhika never put that
topic again on the table as she dint want to dictate her terms for his life.
They both gave the thought independence to each other and never interrupted in each
other’s life.
Manu knew that which way he is going, they both may suffer.
It was his fault but at the same time he also did not want to hurt Radhika. He
promised to himself that he will never put his relationship in between her
dreams. They both wanted to be right and being right one fine day, Radhika
decided to move away from him. Varanasi was calling her. Manu recalled his
respect for her decisions and let her go. Radhika realized that this was the
end of this relationship so rather crying she has to move on.
And she moved on!! But did she really?!
“Did Manu ever tried to say that who the hell I am to take
decision for both of us? No, he had a respect for my decisions. But was it
entirely his mistake? Was I always correct? No, I was stubborn because I wanted
him to ask me to stop atleast once. Did he try? He might have but I dint
understand. Whatever it is, he is my
past now. He must be married by now having two kids running around the corner.
Manu is not a kind of person who just sit and cry with past. He knows how to
move on!!” She was not very happy thinking all this but Manu was all in her
mind tonight. How can she sleep? ‘Muje chand chahiye’ was still on the page 268
from last one hour and it will be there tonight.
Next day morning, she was already very late for work. She
was tired too. She didn’t sleep last night and today was longer than usual. She
quickly glanced at her calendar on laptop screen to check the to-dos for the day.
What is this? She glanced at a mail in her inbox. The mail was from Manu. Manu
did not have surname. He used to call
himself the re-birth of ‘Manu’, the first man on this earth as per Hindu
mythology who saved mankind from universal flood. Radhika felt an electric
surge in her body. Her fingers quivered. She didn’t have the courage to open
that mail after whatever happened last night. She felt two small tears in her
eyes and opened the mail.
“Radhika,
I don’t know if I
still have the right to call you dearest. You might have already forgotten me.
My life changed completely in last six years. After you left things were no
more as I wanted. Each day was empty. You took the life of my days with you :) Struggle with my career continued and finally
I took a step back. I got a lectureship in Literature and Culture Studies in
Delhi University. I tried finding you but you had already left Varanasi and
nobody knew your contact details. Last
year I got married. My first book is publishing next week. Yesterday when I was
roaming around Crossword, I saw your article in a magazine. There was your
email address mentioned. You still look the same, just a little old. I am very
happy that you got everything what you deserved. And guess what as soon as I
found you, I got a call from hospital. This morning made me the father of a
baby girl. When I touched her, you were in my thoughts. Did I find you again?!
Yours
Manu”
