Stride Towards Horizon

दश्त-ए-ज़िन्दगी !! [भाग १]

2012-02-02T14:39:00.000-08:00

कल सत्तू की दुकान पर जब घर का सामान लेने गयी, वही इक़बाल मिला. मैंने मन ही में सोचा ‘अरे ये यहाँ कैसे ?’ मैंने सलाम किया तो कहने लगा “मुझे तो लगा कि तू पहचानेगी ही नहीं" कह कर फिल-फिल हंस पड़ा |

“कितना बदल गयी है रे चिरैया..!!!“ मुझे बहुत तेज़ गुस्सा आया| मुझे नहीं पसंद कि नगमा आपा के अलावा मुझे कोई और चिरैया कहे, पर इक़बाल से कुछ कहना खुद को थप्पड़ मारने के बराबर था, सो मैं चुप रह गयी… मैने पूछा “कैसी है आपा?”

“पागला गयी है डोकरी| अब कुछ होस-हवास तो है ना उसे| पर तुझे बड़ा याद करती है कभी-कभी| पता नहीं तू कैसे अभी तक याद है” ..

इक़बाल, नग़मा आपा का सबसा बड़ा बेटा! दो और बेटे थे उसके| एक बचपन मे ही अल्लाह को प्यारा हो गया और दूसरा किसी पैसे वाली से शादी कर दुबई भाग गया | अब उस बात को भी छ: साल हो गये हैं। ना कोई अता, ना पता|    इक़बाल से एक बात पूछो और दस बातें बताना उसकी सभी बुरी आदतों में से एक थी। सो खैर! ये सब भी उसने ही मुझे बताया। इक़बाल, आपा का सबसे नालायक़ बेटा पर अब वही उसके बुढ़ापे की लाठी बना हुआ है, सो काहे का नालायक!

इक़बाल बोला “जीयेगी नहीं अब ज़्यादा दिन| चल ले घर एक बार| तुझे देख बड़ी खुश होगी वो| जाते जाते उसके मन का भी हो लेगा कुछ| पता नही फिर तू मिले ना मिले !!“

मैं सुनकर सहम सी गयी| वो गलियाँ छोड़े सालो हो गये थे मुझे| कुछ ज़्यादा अच्छी यादें नहीं जुड़ी थी उनसे मेरी| समय भी बड़ा अजीब होता है| सभी को नये रास्ते दिखाता रहता है, और जब मैं उन्ही नये रास्तो पर चल पड़ी, तो फिर से मुझे उन्ही पुरानी यादों के पास फिर से बुला रहा है| इतने सालों में, मैं भूल ही गयी थी अपना वो बचपन|अचानक इक़बाल से मिलकर उनकी धुंधली सी यादें, जो कही कोने मे छुपी हुई सी थी, फिर से अपनी परतें उधेड़ने लगी| अरे हाँ!! वो नगमा आपा ही तो थी जिसकी दुआओ का असर है कि मैं आज शान से मास्टरनी बनी घूमती हूँ। सहसा मुझे लगा की मैं कितना भी कर लू, उन यादो से दूर नही भाग सकती|

यही सब सोच कर जैसे ही मैं कुछ कहने को हुई कि इक़बाल ने मेरे मन का अंतर्द्वंद ताड़ लिया| आज शायद ठान कर आया था मुआ, कहने लगा “भाव ना खा| बड़ी पढ़-लिख ली तो क्या हमें भूल जाएगी? दिमाग़ ना खराब कर मेरा अभी|”

भूल तो मैं गयी ही थी सबको इतने सालो में| मेरी अपनी एक अलग ही दुनिया सी बस गयी थी| जब पढ़ाई ख़त्म हुई तो माँ-बाबा ने शादी करा दी| थोड़े दिनों में प्राध्यापका बन गयी| सरकार की तरफ से घर मिल गया और इस समाज में ढेर सारी इज़्ज़त| वो मोहल्ला और उसकी अनचाही यादें, सब कुछ बहुत पीछे छोड़ आई थी मैं| पर नगमा आपा ! उसे भी क्यों भूल गयी मैं? कैसे भूल गयी कि बचपन में एक बार जब मैनें आपा से कहा था कि जब भी मैं पढ़-लिख कर नौकरी करने लगी, तुझे यहा से ले जाऊंगी| तब भी उसने मुझे मासूम कह कर बड़े ज़ोर से ठहाका लगाया था और कहा था “ऐसा ना होवे है चिरैया | पर तू मुझे भूलना ना! मेरी खैर-खबर लेती रहना|” और मैनें उसकी हाँ में हाँ मिलाई थी|

इक़बाल शायद खड़ा-खड़ा थक गया था| बड़ी ज़ोर से चिल्लाया- “ना चलना है तो ना सही| वैसे भी अब क्यों तू हम लोगों से बात भी करना पसंद करेगी|” कहते ही जैसे ही जाने को मुड़ा, मैनें कहा “चल!!”

सत्तू की दुकान से वो मोहल्ला ज़्यादा दूर ना था... पर लग रहा था की जैसे एक-एक कदम से मैं एक कोस तय कर रही थी| काफ़ी बदल गया था सब कुछ, फिर भी जैसे सब वैसा का वैसा ही था| जब अपने घर के सामने से गुज़री तो कहानी के सारे पन्ने एक-एक कर फिर से सामने आते चले गये।

रास्ते मे इक़बाल बताने लगा “किसी को पहचानती नही वो अब| हो सकता है की तुझे भी ना पहचाने| बुरा ना मानजइयो तू|”.. सो मैं तैयार थी की जैसे ही वो कहे कौन, बस हाल-चल पूछ कर चल दूँगी वहाँ से| जाने क्या उथल-पुथल मचा रहा था मेरे अंदर| बार -बार खुद से कह रही थी कि क्या ज़रूरत है तुझे इन सब पछड़ो मे पड़ने की? पर रोक ना पाई खुद को और बस चलती चली गयी...।

…नगमा आपा का घर, जो अब इक़बाल का घर था, बिल्कुल वैसा ही तो था| पर ना जाने क्यों मुझे अलग सा लगा! बारामदे में गुसते ही मुझे लगा की जैसे इस घर की जान ही चली गयी हो| इतना डरावना कभी ना था ये घर| कुछ तो बदहवासी सी छाई थी| पलट कर भागने को दिल चाहा पर फिर रोक लिए खुद को| इक़बाल ने इशारा किया आपा के कमरे की और| एक अजीब सी गंध आ रही थी उसके कमरे से| वो धीरे से बोला, “डोकरी का पता नही, किस हाल में हो| मैं जाता नही उस और| जा मिल ले जाकर| मैं रुबीना को भेजता हूँ|” रुबीना, इक़बाल की बीवी,वो और मैं साथ मे गुड़िया-गुड़िया खेला करते थे इसी मोहल्ले में।

मैं आपा के कमरे मे पहुँची| जो भी देखा, वो मैं कभी देखना नही चाहती थी| मेरी आपा जिसके नूर से पूरा मोहल्लाचमकता था, आज खुद इतनी बेबस थी| वो आपा जिसके हाथ की कढ़ी ज़रदोज़ी में एक ग़लती निकालना भी मुश्किलथा, आज खुद अपने कपड़ों और अपने कमरे की सलवटों के बीच मे छुपी पड़ी है| मैनें हिम्मत करके बोलने की कोशिश की पर शब्द जैसे थम गए थे। तभी एक आवाज़ आई "कौन?"...मैंने कहा - “आपा !!", वो पलट कर बोली “कौन, चिरैया ?! मुझे पता था कि तू ज़रूर आएगी मुझसे एक बार मिलने|" कहकर उसने उन होठों से मुस्कुराने की कोशिश की, जिनसे शायद महीनों से एक शब्द भी नहीं उगला था|

“कैसी है आपा? मुझे तो लगा कि तू मुझे भूल जाएगी पर तू तो मेरी आवाज़ भी ना भूली अभी तक !..” कह करमैनें थोड़ा सा मुस्कुराने की कोशिश की| पर जैसे मुस्कुराहट कोसो दूर थी वहाँ से|  
आपा बोली, “अरे! मेरी बिल्ली मुझ ही से म्याउ| इन हाथों से बड़ा किया है तुझे| जना ना तो क्या हुआ| ऐसे ही ना भूले हूँ मैं तुझे रे चिरैया..|” मेरी अंतरात्मा को अंदर तक छू लिया उसने|

“आपा मैं मास्टरनी बन गयी तेरी दुआ से| तू यहीं चाहती थी ना?”
“मेरी दुआ ना रे पगली| तेरी मेहनत से| बदली ना तू अब तक चिरैया| अब तो तू नहीं रोती ना छोटी-छोटी बात पर| अब ना सुनना किसी की चिरैया, समझी !!..” सुनते ही मेरी आँखो मे दबा-छुपा आँसू छलक पड़ा|

“और बता आपा, आजकल लिखती कैसै है तू?” कहकर मैनें बात बदलने की कोशिश की..
“अब कहा चिरैया … खुद का तो होस नहीं| ऊपर से उमर ने भी दम निकाल लिया| अब तो बस तेरे चाचा से मिलना है, जब वो अल्लाह रहम कर दे| मैं भी तो देखू कि वो कितने मज़े में हैं...|"

“ऐसे ना बोल आपा …!!” कहकर जैसे मैंने खुद को दिलासा देने की कोशिश की| पर कही अंदर मेरे मन का शैतानकह रहा था कि अब इसे और ना शर्मिंदा कर खुदा, बुला ले इसे तेरे पास... |

तभी रुबीना आई और चाय का प्याला हाथ मे थमा कर बिना ज़्यादा कुछ बोले चली गयी| मैं ना चाहकर भी सब समझ गयी और अपने गुस्से को रोक ना पाई…| आपा से बोली “आपा, ये क्या? ” आपा ने जैसे ताड़ ली मेरे मन की बात, सो संभालते हुए बोली ”अरे, रुबीना मेरा खूब ध्यान रखे है.. तू ज़्यादा ना सोच|..अच्छा सुन चिरैया, मेरा एक काम करेगी?”

“आपा बोल ना !! तुझे कभी मना कर सकती हूँ क्या?

“वहाँ शीशे के ऊपर एक बक्सा है| ज़रा खोल उसे| मैनें वैसा ही किया जैसा वो बोली| बक्से के अंदर कुछ पुराने काग़ज़ थे, उर्दू में लिखे हुए| “तू हमेशा पूछती थी ना कि आपा क्या लिखती है| यहीं सब लिखा है चिरैया| तू ले जा इसे अपने साथ| मोती ना है, पर मेरे मन की बात है| या ये कह ले मेरे काले बालो का रंग धीरे-धीरे इनमें ही छूटगया| जी चाहे तो पढ़ना एक बार| वैसे भी यहाँ इसकी कोई ज़रूरत ना है| चल अब बहुत देर हो गयी है, जा तू यहाँ से| ..और मेरी नमाज़ का भी वक़्त हो चला है….| पर तूने बहुत अच्छा किया चिरैया जो आज आ गयी यहाँ |..अल्लाह मेहरबान !!.. वो तुझे खूब खुश रखे !!” कहकर वो अपने अल्लाह से बातें करने लगी और उसके पास जाने से पहले उसने मुझे अपनी सारी ज़िन्दगी कि जमा पूंजी सोप दी …||

क्रमशः...

Why should I ask for More discrete !!

2011-12-19T13:38:00.000-08:00

Many dark nights of thoughts, and a peaceful Sunshine startswith a naught...

Warm Hugs confined all into my heart, Long Coffee chats -life’s sweet part !!

Emancipating confidence blends well with attitude Confined...

Some of those Misty memories no one ever wants to remind!!

Desperate wishes that nobody knows, Tender Love holdingme so close...

Edgy life roads, all bumpy curves, matters nothing with theone you deserve!!

Those Gloomy good byes, those spirited relations that eachday solidifies...

Haunted future that dare sometimes, Hopeful days says it willbe springtime!!

Progressive world to live in, insidious alliance to fitin...

Optimistic days that sun will rise, Pessimistic fightsnone for any prize!!

Few moments of being desolate, those dew-drops Tranquiland delicate...

Flowers of Hope, Affection and respect, the sense of loveindefinite!!

Barren wishes of each age, yet fairly dignified on everystage...

Joyous celebrations every other day, sense of living asif last day today!!

Beheld few of those vengeful moments, still waiting for myecstatic exponents...

Painful sense of an empty mind, yet refreshing chirps ofbirds giving energy undefined!!

Thrilling Movies, songs indulging, Trustworthy partner, ominousnothing...

Menacing tricks of a juggler’s mind, yet Welcoming Smilesto spellbind!!

Intimidating self as everything is far away, yetConfidence on that one day...

Every color is Inclusive that makes me complete, Whyshould I ask for More discrete?!?!

Radhika !!

2011-12-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

The road was almost empty. Winters were around the cornerand sun started saying good-bye a bit early. ‘O basanti pavan pagal, na ja rena ja’ was playing on radio and Radhika was about to take the right turn to herlone place. Suddenly she saw something wrong and followed in the almost dark.Ohh, a kid was lying on the road bleeding. She felt shiver in her legs and thebrakes came to a hard stop. She jumpedout of car and checked if the pulse is running. Thankfully, it was.

She put him in the car and immediately took him to thehospital. Doctor asked what happened and she made a quick story. Being veryclose to writers she was very good at that now and also she knew thecomplications of administration. She just wanted him to be treated soon.

“What’s the name of the patient?” Lady near the receptionasked.

“Manu”

“Age?”

“Seven”

“Who are you to the patient?”

“Sister.” Nurse looked at her again, as if she wanted tosay ‘Are you sane? ’, but then she just filled the form. Doctor took Manu intothe ICU and she ran to the car again to check his bags.

“Oh, Thank God!!” Shefound his details. She called on the number mentioned in his diary foremergency contact. A lady received the phone.

“Can I talk to Mr. Avasthi?”

“Yes, May I know who you are?”

“Radhika Ranjan”.

After a minutewait a male voice came from the other end. “Yes, may I help you?”

(Obviously!!)…..She said “Mr. Avasthi, you don’t know me.I found your son on the road. He met with an accident. I guess he gotunconscious while riding his bike, as I dint see him hit by anything. I tookhim to the hospital and doctor is checking him. Can you please reach toemergency ward into AIIMS and ask for Radhika Ranjan? I dint know his nameearlier so I registered him as Manu. Please come and give me a call. And pleasedo not panic. He will be fine. I am here with him. See you soon.”

Outside ICU, she was eagerly waiting for someone who can updateher. Pondering that if she wouldn’t havereached there on time?! Manu, why Manuwas the first though she had when she saw this kid? Perplexed she was stillthinking when somebody asked “Excuse me! Are you Radhika Ranjan?”

“Yes, you must be Mr. Avasthi?!” Mr. Avasthi was with a lady who must be themother of Rajat. It was very easy to identify as she was endlessly crying.Yeah, Rajat was his real name.

“Please, be patient. He will be fine.”

After an hour doctor came out and said “He is fine now. Wewere monitoring him till he gets back to conscious. You can take him home now.”And rest she dint listen. She was happy and relieved. Mr. Avasthi said thanksalmost trillion times and Mrs. Avasthi hugged her. Before leaving theyexchanged the contact details and Mr. and Mrs. Avasthi asked her to come homesometime. The basic courtesies of any culture!!!

Clock was showing 10:35 pm. “Muje Chand Chahiye”- She musthave been reading this book for 100^th time by now. Somehow now shestarted living in that book. She felt that this book was not just the story ofVarsha Vashisth. It was the story of almost every sensitive but stubbornmiddle-class Indian girl who wants to make her own world. Yeah, she callsherself stubborn. She didn’t even realize when her mind took her to Manu from thepages of that book. Why Manu came to his life? Why his thoughts bothering hertoday? Almost every day she thinks of him in some way but never felt thatstrange and uneasy. It’s already been Six years they separated. Manu was stillsomewhere in her unconscious mind. Six years ago Rakhika moved to Varanasi. Shewas offered the lectureship in Banaras Hindu University. After few years, shefinished her P.hd. in Ethics and Human Values there. She laughed at herself onthe day she got doctorate degree. Doctor in Ethics and Human values still doesnot understand that “Does aggression always triggered by Heart or mind has anyrole to it too? Is anger really what you should conquer? Is mind prior toheart?” Conquering the thoughts was her favorite experiment to herself.

In last six years she met many people at work. One of themwas Ritvik. They met before Four years. Both were alone and found comfort ineach other and as in that age what most people think, Radhika did the samemistake of thinking that. She wanted stability in her life. Her family also wantedher to marry as she was crossing the marriageable age. So one day frustrated,irritated from herself, she offered Ritvik what she started thinking about bothof them. Ritvik laughed at her in the beginning as he thought that she is notserious but later when she introduced the severity of the matter, Ritvikrefused. He said that he is not ready. She felt terrible inside. She was notprepared for this. But the very next moment, she recalled that she is not weakand saying this to her, she immediately changed the topic saying that neitheris she. She just wanted to check where this relationship is leading. They bothlaughed and enjoyed their coffee.

That night she felt terrible about herself. It was all herfault. Why is she so desperate? Why can’t she be just friends to guys of herage? Why she always seeks support? How can she even think that any guy will beready like this? And even if he is thenhow can she be so sure that her life will be stable after that. Isn’t shealready doing well? Everybody likes her at work. Every parent wants their kidsto be like her. She was the role model for many around. Why does she feel thatshe is nothing? That day she promised herself that she will keep the emotionaldistance from guys and will never take first step in any relationship.

After a week she got a letter from Russia. She was invitedin an international conference to speak about Human Values. She felt relieved. Thatis what she wanted to come out of her ocean of thoughts. She is supposed to concentrate on her career fromnow onwards as this is what her existence. This is what world knows herfor. She never came back to Varanasi andmoved to Greener offers.

But Manu, why he is still around? Till today all her effortsto forget him just went in vain. Seven years ago, she met Manu in a coffee shopat Connaught place in Delhi. He was a writer. It was she who dropped her cup ofcoffee on his notebook. Manu got really angry and started shouting at her infront of everybody. It was his week’s effort which she just drowned in coffee.Rakhika got really upset. She was about to cry but managed somehow andapologies. She offered that she will redo all the work for him. Her innocentoffer made him laugh. And from that day onwards they became the reason to smilefor each other. Radhika became the inspiration of Manu’s writings. Her beauty gavehim new sensations and her eyes showed him new perspectives. They were happywith each other, each day !!

Everything went well for almost a year. But knowing someonevery much is riskier than what we can think of. Though they did not starttaking each other for granted, they just started changing themselves for eachother. They were no more the same people who met a year ago. They were changedfor each other. Radhika got an internship and she was doing very well in hercareer. Manu’s writing career wanted a push. So Radhika never expressed herhappiness about work in front of him assuming he will be upset. Their assumptionsbrought uncertainties to their lives. Oneday she suggested very politely to him to write for some magazines but herefused. He wanted something big but with his own terms. Radhika never put thattopic again on the table as she dint want to dictate her terms for his life.They both gave the thought independence to each other and never interrupted in eachother’s life.

Manu knew that which way he is going, they both may suffer.It was his fault but at the same time he also did not want to hurt Radhika. Hepromised to himself that he will never put his relationship in between herdreams. They both wanted to be right and being right one fine day, Radhikadecided to move away from him. Varanasi was calling her. Manu recalled hisrespect for her decisions and let her go. Radhika realized that this was theend of this relationship so rather crying she has to move on.

And she moved on!! But did she really?!

“Did Manu ever tried to say that who the hell I am to takedecision for both of us? No, he had a respect for my decisions. But was itentirely his mistake? Was I always correct? No, I was stubborn because I wantedhim to ask me to stop atleast once. Did he try? He might have but I dintunderstand. Whatever it is, he is mypast now. He must be married by now having two kids running around the corner.Manu is not a kind of person who just sit and cry with past. He knows how tomove on!!” She was not very happy thinking all this but Manu was all in hermind tonight. How can she sleep? ‘Muje chand chahiye’ was still on the page 268from last one hour and it will be there tonight.

Next day morning, she was already very late for work. Shewas tired too. She didn’t sleep last night and today was longer than usual. Shequickly glanced at her calendar on laptop screen to check the to-dos for the day.What is this? She glanced at a mail in her inbox. The mail was from Manu. Manudid not have surname. He used to callhimself the re-birth of ‘Manu’, the first man on this earth as per Hindumythology who saved mankind from universal flood. Radhika felt an electricsurge in her body. Her fingers quivered. She didn’t have the courage to openthat mail after whatever happened last night. She felt two small tears in hereyes and opened the mail.

“Radhika,

I don’t know if Istill have the right to call you dearest. You might have already forgotten me.My life changed completely in last six years. After you left things were nomore as I wanted. Each day was empty. You took the life of my days with you :) Struggle with my career continued and finallyI took a step back. I got a lectureship in Literature and Culture Studies inDelhi University. I tried finding you but you had already left Varanasi andnobody knew your contact details. Lastyear I got married. My first book is publishing next week. Yesterday when I wasroaming around Crossword, I saw your article in a magazine. There was youremail address mentioned. You still look the same, just a little old. I am veryhappy that you got everything what you deserved. And guess what as soon as Ifound you, I got a call from hospital. This morning made me the father of ababy girl. When I touched her, you were in my thoughts. Did I find you again?!

Yours

Manu”

Numbness of November

2011-11-16T12:34:00.001-08:00

I guess I have a good amount of MY time these days. I won’tcall it as free, as I never learnt to be free. So in this particular MY time Idecided to be ‘Numb’. Yes, this is whatI call is trying to have empty thoughts which leads nowhere. Amusingly, theexperiment went well as it had been a very long time, I did this to me.Initially I felt OK and then it was scary. Scary because I felt, I am runningaway. ‘From whom?’ I am still trying to find the answer to this question but Iguess the answer is ‘Myself!!’

And then to complicate things further, I decided to godeeper and deeper. What I felt was not very pleasant. It was like that story weused to listen as a kid where a Monkey was offered one of the two boxes as agift from the King of Birds. Monkey thought that big box must have bigger giftso he chose the big box but the inexpensive diamond was inside the small boxand the big box just had the seasonal fruits to eat. And then even when the bigbox was the result of his Karma, he said to himself that this is what you’re destinedto. And saying this to himself he moved on...

Do we all do the same sometime in our lives? Choosing thebig box and tagging the rest as destiny!!! I don't know about others but at that particular moment, I truly hatemyself. The 'Numbness of November' is whatI want the answer to. And what I afraid of is that if I won’t get the answer, Iwill change the question [AGAIN !?!?]. Yes, I am very good at that too!! :)

परछाई....

2011-11-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

परिधि से अलग झूमती, गुनगुनाती है,

छोटे-छोटे पहेली के टुकडो संग खेलती है,

छुपती-छुपाती कभी गुम सी जाती है,

और कभी छटी धुंध से निकल सामने आती है.......

साथ चलते इस अवचेतन टुकड़े से डर लगता है!!

मुझ में रहते इस अनजाने से डर लगता है!!

अपने में ही उलझे इस रास्ते से डर लगता है!!

भीड़ में दौड़ते ऐसे सन्नाटे से डर लगता है!!

भंवरो की तरह गुन-गुन करने की ख्वाहिश है,

चाह कर भी चुप ना रहने की ख्वाहिश है,

कही मेरी निगाहों से कोई ना पढ़ ले मुझे!!

नज़रे झुका कर भी मुंह फेरने की ख्वाहिश है.....

ये सब जानकर भी क्यों इतना इतराती है?

मेरी परछाई, तू क्यों मुझे इतना सताती है?

कभी मुझ से लिपट मुझे खुश कर जाती है,

कभी ‘कर दिया एहसान’ - ये कह फिर छुप जाती है!!

Full Stop

2011-10-14T10:09:00.001-07:00

A sentence named 'Me' was empty. He wanted to live his life, wanted to make his own footprints. So one day he started his long journey. On the way he met to all the alphabets... They played many games together and called them words ... They switched the places and colors changed ... On the way they felt a bit stressed but then with the help of each other they got relaxed. They loved each other.

On the way he met to few more sentences. Some of them dint like him as they were not of their category. They dint fight but they just chose to be in different group.

Some of them welcomed him. They stayed together like a family. But after few days, they started fighting with each other. Each sentence wanted to live his own life and they were not finding their existence with each other. They abused, they killed each other ...

So one fine day, when all of them were messing up with each other, the Lord of Linguistics got angry and he appeared. All the sentences got afraid to see him. Lord of Linguistics wanted to curse them but they apologized and asked the Lord to help them.

And then guess what the Lord did? He called his favorite kid 'Full Stop'. He told all the sentences that whenever you see devil overpowering goodness, whenever you see hate taking over Love, just ask Full-stop for help.

Since then the sentences are living happily. Sometimes when they don't care about Lord's advice and try to muddle, things changes. Unhappiness arises and stress increases. But then Full-stop saves them. Full-stop works, no matter what…….!!!!

People of my day :)

2010-11-04T06:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how we breath making new relations. My complete day moves with the help of people whom I know but I don't know at all. But still my eyes look for them everyday.
Everyday I need to take bus no. 802 and the first thing I look is who is driving the bus. As soon as I reach to the train station my eyes look for a platform friend and then when I sit in the train my eyes look for the TC who comes everyday. Then again when I catch my bus, I look for John who drives Train-link and look for all other people who rides the same bus everyday like I do. And the list of people goes on and on till I reach home in the evening....

Again the very next day the clock starts again with the same affection and energy. Sometimes when I miss anyone of these people, my mind definitely ask that where they would have been.

Though I know, tomorrow this list of my people will be renewed and I will make new friends.. Still I want to say THANK YOU to all the people of my TODAY.

Thanks for being in my life.
Thanks for the smile which makes my day everyday.
Thanks for your selfless help which makes my routine.
Thanks for the energy you reflect which heals my thoughts.
Thanks for teaching me that I am blessed because I am a human being. :)

Emotional impact that fidelity and love have upon the constitution of marriage

2010-07-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

I never thought I will get marry someday when I was growing up. Unlike other girls of my age, I wanted to be a successful prestigious personality of this human society. Though, I had great disrespect to this piece of humanity which we call society.

But then time changed. I grew up and the social pressure increased on my head to get marry. Sometimes I wonder why we in our Indian society even bother that who around us is married or unmarried. This whole idea takes a lot from our energy and we almost spend years of time to make someone ready to get marry. But anyways this is not the topic of today’s discussion.

So, this whole concept enlightened my mind and completely changed my idea of life. I realized how important it is to be with someone. Someone who can understand your feelings, someone with whom you can sit silently whenever you are feeling good or bad, someone who will hold you when you are about to fall. This change happened like a change in era, almost the same way like today facebook has patronized the idea of social networking. I started living in dreams of my super hero, my prince. :)

And one fine day of my life I was married. Just before marriage I was feeling high, almost patting my back on the choice of my superhero. This was the perfect man God has made for me. But the day, the very same day when all the rituals of marriage were taking place, I felt that surge of change, life was offering me or I must say life was warning me to accept. I was completely confused, thinking about right and wrong but it was too late.

I entered the new phase what people call the new lesson of life. Now I cannot afford being selfish. Now I cannot afford taking my decisions thinking about only myself. Now I am supposed to adopt the changes ASAP because this is my new world. Obviously, the world cannot change for you, so for me the easiest available solution was, ‘Change Yourself’.

At the same time another movie was also going on parallel to it. One person was struggling with the identity of a good son; good brother and at the same time a new responsibility life has offered him – a good husband. He was confused but he couldn’t afford to be confused. Though, even till today I don’t have the complete idea of that movie, may be my readers can give their inputs to it. But as an end result, that guy managed somehow and the foundation of a new generation took place, finally!!!!

But Now what?!?!?

Now I am the part of this society with pleasantly accepting this constitution of marriage. The constitution of marriage is well defined. There are set guidelines to follow it and you have so many experts all around you who can tell you what to do and what not to. I am also putting a small effort to make these visible to you:

Disclaimer: Though few things may look funny, they are not. All the occurrences of these in your life are mere coincidences. None of us try to spy your personal life. And if none of these happened with you then you are one of those most unluckiest persons, God have chosen not to expose to the reality.

1. Don’t ever try to change things which are going on since years before your marriage. Change is the rule of world but it is pleasant only when you don’t realize that things are changing.

2. Don’t try to think that you are smarter than the other. All what you can do is your responsibility towards your family so don’t feel proud.

3. Never argue and if you do, be ready for the consequences. Your partner can throw his lunch or dinner on your face. But it’s you who is culprit, so be ready then.

4. Be ready for patch-up even if you FEEL that you are not wrong. It’s really difficult to stay in same house without talking. But you can avoid this being a little modest, can’t you?

5. Always take care about the best time of things like ‘Don’t try to crack a joke when cleaning is going on’ or ‘Don’t even utter a word when the installation of new electronic item is taking place’.

6. Don’t expect knowing everything around like whom did you call in family or friend today, or how much the new car will cost or how much you spend on your new dress or how many new friends you made in last one week. You are not supposed to know everything. The things of your interest will directly come to you sooner or later.

7. Always try to look fresh and joyous otherwise your partner may think that You are low because of him/her. There should be nothing important and influencing in your life except him/her.

8. The best way to make things normal is to leave the house for some time. You may go for job or jog, or match or meeting. Time is a best healer. Things will be normal without even saying a sorry, when you will meet again. The only thing you have to do is ask- ‘How was it?’ isn’t it simple?!

9. To be continued…

Note: Kids, education and Imposition of the constitution of marriage again to the next generation are the delicate subjects of philosophy which needs some extra time and efforts of research. Stay tuned for few more years to know more about all these ideals too. Till that time, you are free to share your suggestions, experiences or Ideas for the same.

So today, we have got the understanding of the ‘Constitution of Marriage’. We have many people around us who strongly believe in this aspect of life, including me. But you must be thinking where does the FIDELITY and LOVE explained in all these written down here.

To answer to your question – These are the foundations of your married life. All these we have mentioned here are just the ways to take care of FIDELITY and LOVE which exists in your life. You are married because you thought that you will get the FIDELITY and LOVE from your partner and eventually you get it too. The only problem is in the form you get it. You want these two principles in your life in the way you want it but it always comes to you in the way your partner wants.

And then when you dig the foundations after destructing the whole building, you see that the material was always the same. It was you who misjudged. So the choice is yours, make your today humorous and joyous when you have choice of making it :)

References: Only the experiences of writer’s life and the fights happened in last one week. The new phase of enlightenment ;)

एक रिश्ता !!!

2009-05-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

विचारो की उन्मुक्त बयार
और अन्तर्मन का स्वछन्द आकाश
कल्पना करता है एक ऐसे रिश्ते की
जो हो पवित्र प्रेम की तरह,
और हो उसी के रस में सींचा-बसा,
जो हो पावन इस वर्षा जल की तरह,
और हो मासूम एक रात की तरह,
जो हो उन्मुक्त पंछियों की उड़ान की तरह,
और हो कोमल एक पंखुडी की तरह,
एक रिश्ता –
जिसकी प्राण-वायु हो अहसास, और पोषक रस हो विश्वास
जिसमे व्यर्थ के आडंबरो की जगह, हो केवल मौन-मुक्त वार्तालाप
और हो एक दूसरे के लेश-मात्र दुःख से, काँप उठने की शिद्दत
केवल प्यार और बस प्यार की चाहत
मैं एक ऐसा ही रिश्ता बनाना चाहती हूँ …
अपनी कल्पनाओं को एक नाम देना चाहती हूँ…
अन्तर्मन की परिधि में तुझे बांधना चाहती हूँ…
अपने विचारो को नए आयाम देना चाहती हूँ …

Highly recommended reading material......Please Do not ignore!!!!

2009-05-02T02:05:00.000-07:00

How difficult it is to carry someone’s trust… Few days back I met with an accident which made me a reason to think this …

I don’t want any one of you to face the same; I was going thru… It was awful, it was painful, it was irritating, and it was frustrating ….. But just few precautions may help you to not repeat the same mistake I did.

Few days back, when I opened my mailbox, a new mail alert haunted me. It was a credit card statement of more than a Lakh rupees… and all the transactions done were of almost 20 days old.

When I inquired from customer care, all were the swipe in transactions and so when I checked my credit card around all over the house, I realized that the card is stolen. When n where? I was not even able to recall the last one month…

As per the transaction details card is suppose to rob on Saturday or Sunday but how can the card be stolen when I did not go even outside my house? Only, few friends visited me… So I had not a single clue to move ahead…. Going forward, I tried to track down the purchases and the possible merchants and after this exercise, I finally got to know about the person who did this shameless task… He was one of my Friend…After some inquiries I got to know that he is a well educated kleptomaniac…

Well !!! Nth is written here to suggest you to suspect each and every person you come along with, Just want to say – Be careful, be watchful…. In most of the credit card forgeries, it is being found that the person who does these tasks are very known to the card holders…..Precaution is always better than cure….

In India, credit card norms are not very clear to the general public and so you might get trapped… I am also noting down few of the rules which might help u, just in case you come along with such incidences…
1) Always activate phone alerts on all ur debit and credit cards। As soon as any transaction is done from ur card, u will get the message।
2) All the purchases from a lost/ stolen credit card within 24 hours are insured, so report the loss as soon as possible.
3) On every purchase of more than 10,000 Rs. Each merchant is supposed to ask for the identity proof of the card holder. In case of such misses, u can claim the amount to merchants.
4) Neither Merchant at first level nor bank at second level is supposed to process the transaction, if signature does not match on the payment slip of credit card. Both are equally liable to answer, if they do so.
5) As per the RBI guidelines, every citizen is autherized to raise a dispute against the transaction(s) he/she has not done and bank is liable to do such investigations.

All these things are just the aftermaths. Be careful beforehand. Always make sure points mentioned below while using credit cards:
· For your own sake, develop the habit of checking your credit card each time, the card is returned to you after a transaction.
· Always check, if the name and expiry date mentioned on the card are correct.
· Remove cvv number from back of the card.
· Whenever dispose the expired cards, cut them and trash.

I have already been a victim of credit card fraud and, believe me, it is not fun. The truth is that they can get you even when you are careful, but don't make it easy for them.

शब्द ...

2009-04-07T02:33:00.000-07:00

शब्दों की कोई सीमा नहीं है,
वो कभी अथाह सागर है, तो कभी अग्नि का उष्णता,
वो कभी पर्वत की ऊँचाई है, तो कभी नदियों की तीव्रता,
वो कभी नायक का अभिमान है, तो कभी नायिका का श्रृंगार,
वो कभी शकिमान का साहस है, तो कभी दरिद्र की करुण पुकार,
वो कभी मैं हूँ, तो कभी आप,
वो कभी मायूसी है, तो कभी विश्वास,
हाँ ! अथाह, तेज, ऊँचाई, अग्नि, साहस, और विश्वास,
बिना अहसास, खुद अहसास भी तो एक शब्द ही है!!
ये शब्द ही तो है, मुझे आपसे जोड़े हुए,
ये शब्द ही तो है, विचारो को पिरोये हुए,
आज इस शब्द की गहराई में डूबने का मन करता है,
कई दिनों बाद आज फिर से लिखने का मन करता है.....

My Self ...

2009-03-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think, I live two different lives altogether. One is my Self and other is my Aspired self. And every day both of these identities fight with each other. But the best part is both of these are lifeless without each other and so does I am. Both of these make me complete and I don’t wanna leave any one of these. If one irritates me the other one soothes. If one makes me cry, other gives its hand to relieve. If one gives me a reason to be happy, other one feels accomplished. If one does a Mistake and makes me fall, other one helps me to understand how to stand up and move forward.

This is the beauty of Aspiration and only with this you feel the difference in each coming day. Each day helps you to know urself better and gives you the motive to move ahead… I am moving, moving and moving ahead…. What abt u? :)

Life is Beautiful...

2009-03-05T23:39:00.000-08:00

Finally I reached airport… A bit irritated due to traffic and hot weather of Banglore... Something was really making me irritate and I was looking around with angry eyes like a wild animal... Suddenly a person caught my attention and we smiled at each other... Transferred general courtesies and den in a small while few jokes and then few serious talks...N very soon I realized this strange fellow was altogether carrying a whole life with himself... His strength gave me a reason to thank god that I m blessed... His Confidence in his ideas gave me a reason to think where I am and what I am doing... His sparkling eyes gave me a reason to say "Life is Beautiful" :)

Nitin lost one of his legs few days back in a horrible road accident... He was going back after his regular checkup to the doctor… and Now the most impressive part is his idea about future with a fresh start, fresh vision and fresh ideas without cursing even once... He is so sure that he will accomplish everything for what he is made and I am happy that I met him even for a little time of 1 hour... My best wishes are with him… :)

Jab we Met ...

2009-03-03T00:11:00.001-08:00

We met …. And talked abt so many Abstracts of life…

Felt like all the thoughts are flying… Felt the beauty of conversation… Felt the ease of expression… And we realized that we were in search of the definition of a feeling where we find the mirror of our own self… Where we realize the beauty of present moment… Where we feel that life is beautiful …And we named it “LOVE” :) …

We smiled at each other and then we departed with the hope to see each other in future …

Slum Dog Millionaire ….

2009-02-20T10:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I have seen “Slum Dog Millionaire”. Somehow I dint like something about the movie. The script is beautiful… but somewhere something was unjustified while direction of author’s imagination … and I felt like the fractions of the movie are not flowing in sync… Somewhere it is overuse of words while at other places words are unappreciated…..

Newaz, ultimately what world look is OSCAR … So who cares what I think!? :)

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish !!!

2009-02-13T13:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

Awesome video… This is what we call - “KARMA” in Hindu Methodology … :) You never know, what beautiful sketch life wanna draw for yourself…

Discernment :)

2009-02-13T03:56:00.000-08:00

Today I have seen a statement in one of my fren’s status and I appreciated the contemplation… And then I thought why I liked it …. And then suddenly I realized, that is because, I was inline with this thought.

One of my teachers taught me when I was leaving my school and entering into this big world that “If you have five rupees, then you are the only one who knows how to spend it properly. Others may tell you that what is good and what is bad. But you will buy only that idea which is coherent with what you yourself think.”

During the course of time, I realized that how easily my teacher had taught me a very big lesson of my life. :) All of us are intend to ask multiple people, whenever we are in doubt and get multitude of ideas to execute. But if you want to be happy and satisfied with what you have done, pay attention to what your heart says. Think what you want and you will comprehend that the answer lies within you.

Why?

2009-02-01T23:09:00.000-08:00

I always think that I have travelled so far but why at each and every stage it looks like a long way to go... My journey has just begin...